New Year's Resolutions

Ok, I did pretty good with last year's. I keep the stroller in the car. I've only lost my debit card a few times (the last time was New Year's Eve, ironic, isn't it?) and I have relaxed and enjoyed Wyatt more and worried less about him.

But, this year, Michelle sent me a list of resolutions that I absolutely loved and may have to adopt:

Attainable New Year's Resolutions:

This year, I resolve to...

1. Gain weight. At least 30 pounds. Why not? I might even add to become an alcoholic. One leads to the other leading back to the other if you do it right.

2. Stop exercising. Waste of time. See #1

3. Read less. Makes you think. Ok, not so much on this one. I actually have a plan to pick a topic and read 5 books on it. I'll post more about it later. See #5.

4. Watch more TV. I've been missing some good stuff. Particularly TruTv which used to be CourtTv.

5. Procrastinate more. Starting tomorrow. Yes, I'm the Queen of Procrastination. I should make myself a crown . . . maybe later.

6.Spend more time at work, surfing with the T1. Quality lunch time for me. Have you played Wedding Dash yet?

7.Take a vacation to someplace important: like, to see the largest ball of twine. I don't have a plan to take a vacation, but I have a plan to list places I'd like to go . . . like see the world's largest ball of twine. More of that in later posts. Refer to #5

8.Not jump off a cliff just because everyone else did. Yes, that's right. I walk to the beat of a different drummer. Or maybe I walk a different pace to the same drummer?

9. Stop bringing lunch from home: I should eat out more. Again, not a problem. Can you say "Bean burrito and large Mt. Dew"?

10. Get in a whole NEW rut! I think I could do this one with a little inspiration.

11. Start being superstitious. I'll work on this one. I'll have to find out some more superstitions though. See #5.

12. Personal goal: bring back disco. This one was made for me.

13. Buy an '83 Eldorado and invest in a really loud stereo system. Ok, this one, not so much. I think the 1995 Blazer that I bought for $150 and then Scott spent almost $500 on a stereo for covers this.

14. Get the windows tinted. Buy some fur for the dash. I love this idea . . . but will I get around to it? See #5. I'm thinking either camo or hot pink fur.

15. Speak in a monotone voice and only use monosyllabicwords. This will never happen. I'm too easily excited.

16. Spend my summer vacation in Cyberspace. Shouldn't be a problem. Do I need a passport?

17. Not eat cloned meat. I think I can do this. Do they even have cloned meat? Note to self: Ask about this. See #5.

18. Create loose ends. I'm all about this one.

19. Get more toys. With a toddler, this is not an issue. It'll happen.

20. Get further in debt. - Ok, not so much onh this one.

21. Not believe politicians. Not really a problem on this one either.

22. Not drive a motorized vehicle across thin ice. I don't even like to go outside if it's below 50 degrees.

23. Avoid transmission of inter-species diseases. I think this can be done fairly easily. I can't recall the last time I had sex with another species . . . or even kissed them.

24. Avoid airplanes that spontaneously drop 1000 feet. Can't get the hubby to fly. Not a problem.

25. Stay off the International Space Station. See #24.

26. Not swim with pirhanas or sharks. Not really a problem. See #24.

27. Associate with even worse business clients. I don't think that's going to happen, but it's a good goal. Do redneck construction people count?

28. Spread out priorities beyond my ability to keep track of them. Not a problem.

29. Wait around for opportunity. Again, not a problem.

30. Focus on the faults of others. Again, not a problem.

31. Mope about my faults.
Not a problem. Maybe I should become Catholic. Then, I can mope AND confess. Or, I could not confess and then mope about my faults and not confessing. See #5.

32. Never make New Year's resolutions again. I could just ask other people what theirs are and copy them.