My Desk

Ok, this is my desk this morning when I came in. Yesterday was obviously a rough day.



Nuff said.

As I look at the picture, I wonder when I thought I would have time to read the magazine on my desk?

Apparently, you CAN get it from a toilet seat

I forgot to mention in my previous post the funniest thing about my visit to the doc in the box on Saturday.

As I walk in, there is what I will nicely call an "older rough looking" woman sitting in the waiting room.

As I am signing in, she says loudly to the receptionist at the desk . . . "And they told me you couldn't get it from a toilet seat."

Ok, those of you who know me, know that it was almost impossible for me to not burst out into giggles.

But, I managed to keep it in. I'm sure that my eyes went pretty wide though.

The receptionist told the woman with a very professional smile, "Yes, you CAN get it from a toilet seat."

At that point, I decided that I didn't have to pee as bad as I thought and I tried to busy myself so that I wouldn't become a part of that conversation.

The Birthday Curse

Ok, so since I was 30, I have had what I call the Birthday Curse.

Every year, either the day before, the day of, or the day after my birthday, something goes horribly wrong.

On my 30th birthday, I broke my foot looking for a tiara to wear to an ice hockey game.

One year, I had a miscarriage the day after my birthday.

One year, I was supposed to take Wyatt into surgery the day before my birthday . . . and we got to the hospital and they turned us down for surgery because he had a yeast infection. That's a long story. I think that was the year that the boy waiting on the bus in the Elmer Fudd hat gave me the finger too.

That gives you an idea of what seems to happen. I won't go thru every year.

However, this year was just like the others.

Saturday morning, I got up and I was hurrying to go to Nana's because it was opening day for gun season (deer) and I was taking lunch over for the guys.

I scooped Wyatt up in my arms because I couldn't find his shoes and headed out the door. Unfortunately, it had been raining and our wooden steps were slick . . . very slick.

I managed to cradle him enough that he didn't get hurt when I went down on my back. But, I was in a lot of hurt. I thought I would be ok though, so I went on out to Nana's. It didn't take long to realize that something was really wrong.

So, Nana and Aunt BB watched Wyatt while I ran in to see the doc in the box. When he went to check my knee, I had to explain that I had almost no feeling in the right side of my right knee due to a surgery mishap nearly 10 years ago and that I have a metal rod in my right thigh. Unfortunately, they decided that I needed x-rays. The nurse came in with one of those slimming, fashionable hospital gowns and announced that I needed to change into it for x-rays.

Now, I tend to feel I have a very expressive face. Apparently, at that moment, my face expressed how I felt about changing into the hospital gown. The nurse literally took a step back from me and started explaining why I needed to do it.
I personally feel that if an x-ray machine can see thru a hospital gown, why couldn't it see thru my shirt?

But, after about 30 seconds of awkward conversation by the nurse, I agreed to put the gown on. They let me keep my jeans and socks (if you know me well, you know why the sock thing is important) on.


She asked if I needed help with it and I let her know that I have PLENTY of experience with hospital gowns. As she was shuffling (and that's how I was walking at that point) to the x-ray room, she was trying to make sure my gown back stayed closed. I reminded her that most people would not get excited over seeing my back (remember, I had pants on) and to stop worrying about it. If someone got worked up over seeing a tattoo (or two) that was their problem.

Once in the x-ray room, the nurse handed me this REALLY heavy lead apron and asked if I could just hold it up over my waist with only my left hand while they x-rayed my right shoulder. Oh sure, why not?

As she went to duck out of the room to do the x-ray, she looked back and asked me if I thought I might be pregnant. I think I surprised her with my HELL NO! answer.

So, we got done with that x-ray and they needed to do my knee. She basically tells me to "hop" up on the table. It took some maneuvering, but I got up there with minimal pain.

Unfortunately, when she grabbed my toes to point them outwards, the pain was NOT minimal and I let her know what I thought of it. I also pointed out how stupid it was that they needed me to remove my shirt for a shoulder x-ray but not my denim jeans for a knee x-ray.

So, it came out that I had bruised the bone in my shoulder. My knee is fine. But, I will be sore all over from the fall for several days and it will take a while for the bruse on the bone to heal.

The doctor did tell me after the x-ray that the metal rod in my right thigh was impressive. I thanked him for noticing. I'm not sure he found that as funny as I did.

My directives? Rest. Yeah, the man totally doesn't get it, does he? At least they gave me some Lortab to take the edge off the pain. And, that's all it's doing. It's not getting rid of it.

So, if you need me, I will be in Lortab Land.

Surprise!

So, last night my friends and family threw a small surprise birthday party for me.

I was really floored when it happened.

One of my nephews got THIS for me for my birthday. They actually fit in the envelope of the birthday card.

As if this morning didn't suck enough . . .

So, today I had to rearrange my morning a little bit.

Scott needed to leave our house by 5 this morning. This meant that I either had to shower at 4 am or take Wyatt to Nana's at the usual time and come back to to the house and shower . . . which would make me late for work.

I chose to be late to work.

So, I get Scott up and he gets out of the house on time I assume. Then, Wyatt gets up around 5:15. So, I got him a sippy cup of milk and brought him into our bed and snuggled up with him while he watched cartoons. He was very affectionate and we enjoyed snoozing and snuggling.

I finally got out the door with him and thought that everything was going ok. However, there were some bovine that thought I needed an obstacle course this morning. I came around a corner on Anderson Road and there were cattle standing in the middle of the road. So, I hopped out and herded them over to the correct side of the road. I wasn't sure if they would stay since the fence was open right there, but at least they were out of MY way. I looked over to the other side and there were three cattle still standing there. I caught myself asking the ladies if they cared to join their friends on the other side of the road. That's when I decided that I am alone too much. I left them there and continued on my way.

Once I got to Nana's, Wyatt didn't really want me to leave. I finally untangled his arms from around my neck and headed back. As i was going up Low Gap Hill, a squirrel darted across the road, turned back and went back to the original side. I managed to miss him, but he looked confused.

At the top of the hill, I realized that I had tucked my cell phone into Wyatt's diaper bag and didn't get it out at Nana's. So, I turned around to go back. The squirrel did a little replay . . . honestly I felt like I was in a shooting gallery and I managed to get my phone.

So, I rushed back home and got ready for work. I threw the laundry that was in the dryer into the clean clothes basket. I put the laundry in the washer into the dryer. I started another load in the washer. I unloaded, reloaded and set the dishwasher timer to start for later. I put trash bags in the trash cans and headed out the door.

Now, I realize that I need to go BACK to Wal-Mart (this is at least the third time this week) and get laundry soap.

What's next? A bird shitting on my head?

One of my co-workers has an interesting way of dealing with stress. They find acorns and use a pen and Wite Out to make little heads that look like Jamaican people. I think they are pretty stressed. The tribe keeps getting bigger and bigger.

HALLOWEEN

Ok, so I am a week late . . . but it wasn't that exciting.

Wyatt did NOT want to get into his chicken costume when it came time to trick or treat. I was heartbroken. But, Daddy suggested putting him in some camo and taking him. So, we changed his clothes, gave him a slingshot and his plastic pumpkin bucket and headed over to the neighbor's house.

We got to exactly TWO houses before he informed me that he wanted to go home and stay home.

It was a big disappoinment. AND we didn't have very many trick or treaters.

Like father . .. like son

Nuff said.

Wyatt also has a habit of sticking his hand in my bra when he's tired, nervous or upset. He always tells me that he needs booby.

The other morning I was getting dressed. I don't hide anything from him at this point. When he points out parts on my body I just tell him that everyone has parts but everyone's looks a little different. So, the other morning he told me he needed booby as I was getting dressed. And then he said . . . I need it bad.

I had to laugh.

Meet Moo-Moo

This is Moo-Moo. Trina bought her for Wyatt a few months ago. Ever since he got it, Wyatt has insisted on keeping her in his bed.

Every night, we have to make sure that Bob-Bob (Sponge Bob) and Moo-Moo are where he wants them in his bed.

However, the last several nights, there has been a new twist to the routine. I now have to kiss Moo-Moo goodnight and tell her that I love her. And, he does too. And, he wants to hold Moo-Moo while he's having his milk cup before going to bed.

This morning, he insisted on bringing Moo-Moo into our bed while he watched tv with Daddy so that I could shower. He "shared" his milk cup with Moo-Moo. He would put the cup up to her mouth and then make little drinking noises for her.

A Huge Compliment

My mother-in-law gave me a huge compliment today.

She was talking about how her sisters are coming to visit tomorrow and they wanted homemade yeast rolls.

My mother-in-law asked me to make them. She said that I make the best and that they are so light and fluffy.

I almost cried. This came from a woman who is a FANTASTIC cook.

Raising him up right

So, Wyatt of course has a fascination with the vacuum cleaner . . . and ours was out last night because something was wrong with our furnace (that's the closet where we keep it). Once the furnace was fixed, which was apparently a quick fix, Wyatt wanted to sweep.

I found out he's been spending a little too much time with Nana. He went around the living room, put up his toys, picked up anything on the floor (like shoes) that he didn't want to have to sweep around and went at it.

I'm excited that he's helping, but worried that he's a little obsessive/compulsive about it.

Sweet Moments

Ok, with a toddler, they don't come along very often (at least when they are awake) but I have been seeing some lately.

Most nights, after dinner and before his bath, Wyatt and Daddy sit down to "read". Yeah, it's usually one of two picture books . . . but still, it's time they spend together with a book. Wyatt likes those two books because they contain pictures of things he likes to talk about: chairs, bananas, the moon, popsicles etc.

Right after this picture, Wyatt stabbed me in the thigh with the fork in his hand.