My Desk

Ok, this is my desk this morning when I came in. Yesterday was obviously a rough day.



Nuff said.

As I look at the picture, I wonder when I thought I would have time to read the magazine on my desk?

Apparently, you CAN get it from a toilet seat

I forgot to mention in my previous post the funniest thing about my visit to the doc in the box on Saturday.

As I walk in, there is what I will nicely call an "older rough looking" woman sitting in the waiting room.

As I am signing in, she says loudly to the receptionist at the desk . . . "And they told me you couldn't get it from a toilet seat."

Ok, those of you who know me, know that it was almost impossible for me to not burst out into giggles.

But, I managed to keep it in. I'm sure that my eyes went pretty wide though.

The receptionist told the woman with a very professional smile, "Yes, you CAN get it from a toilet seat."

At that point, I decided that I didn't have to pee as bad as I thought and I tried to busy myself so that I wouldn't become a part of that conversation.

The Birthday Curse

Ok, so since I was 30, I have had what I call the Birthday Curse.

Every year, either the day before, the day of, or the day after my birthday, something goes horribly wrong.

On my 30th birthday, I broke my foot looking for a tiara to wear to an ice hockey game.

One year, I had a miscarriage the day after my birthday.

One year, I was supposed to take Wyatt into surgery the day before my birthday . . . and we got to the hospital and they turned us down for surgery because he had a yeast infection. That's a long story. I think that was the year that the boy waiting on the bus in the Elmer Fudd hat gave me the finger too.

That gives you an idea of what seems to happen. I won't go thru every year.

However, this year was just like the others.

Saturday morning, I got up and I was hurrying to go to Nana's because it was opening day for gun season (deer) and I was taking lunch over for the guys.

I scooped Wyatt up in my arms because I couldn't find his shoes and headed out the door. Unfortunately, it had been raining and our wooden steps were slick . . . very slick.

I managed to cradle him enough that he didn't get hurt when I went down on my back. But, I was in a lot of hurt. I thought I would be ok though, so I went on out to Nana's. It didn't take long to realize that something was really wrong.

So, Nana and Aunt BB watched Wyatt while I ran in to see the doc in the box. When he went to check my knee, I had to explain that I had almost no feeling in the right side of my right knee due to a surgery mishap nearly 10 years ago and that I have a metal rod in my right thigh. Unfortunately, they decided that I needed x-rays. The nurse came in with one of those slimming, fashionable hospital gowns and announced that I needed to change into it for x-rays.

Now, I tend to feel I have a very expressive face. Apparently, at that moment, my face expressed how I felt about changing into the hospital gown. The nurse literally took a step back from me and started explaining why I needed to do it.
I personally feel that if an x-ray machine can see thru a hospital gown, why couldn't it see thru my shirt?

But, after about 30 seconds of awkward conversation by the nurse, I agreed to put the gown on. They let me keep my jeans and socks (if you know me well, you know why the sock thing is important) on.


She asked if I needed help with it and I let her know that I have PLENTY of experience with hospital gowns. As she was shuffling (and that's how I was walking at that point) to the x-ray room, she was trying to make sure my gown back stayed closed. I reminded her that most people would not get excited over seeing my back (remember, I had pants on) and to stop worrying about it. If someone got worked up over seeing a tattoo (or two) that was their problem.

Once in the x-ray room, the nurse handed me this REALLY heavy lead apron and asked if I could just hold it up over my waist with only my left hand while they x-rayed my right shoulder. Oh sure, why not?

As she went to duck out of the room to do the x-ray, she looked back and asked me if I thought I might be pregnant. I think I surprised her with my HELL NO! answer.

So, we got done with that x-ray and they needed to do my knee. She basically tells me to "hop" up on the table. It took some maneuvering, but I got up there with minimal pain.

Unfortunately, when she grabbed my toes to point them outwards, the pain was NOT minimal and I let her know what I thought of it. I also pointed out how stupid it was that they needed me to remove my shirt for a shoulder x-ray but not my denim jeans for a knee x-ray.

So, it came out that I had bruised the bone in my shoulder. My knee is fine. But, I will be sore all over from the fall for several days and it will take a while for the bruse on the bone to heal.

The doctor did tell me after the x-ray that the metal rod in my right thigh was impressive. I thanked him for noticing. I'm not sure he found that as funny as I did.

My directives? Rest. Yeah, the man totally doesn't get it, does he? At least they gave me some Lortab to take the edge off the pain. And, that's all it's doing. It's not getting rid of it.

So, if you need me, I will be in Lortab Land.

Surprise!

So, last night my friends and family threw a small surprise birthday party for me.

I was really floored when it happened.

One of my nephews got THIS for me for my birthday. They actually fit in the envelope of the birthday card.

As if this morning didn't suck enough . . .

So, today I had to rearrange my morning a little bit.

Scott needed to leave our house by 5 this morning. This meant that I either had to shower at 4 am or take Wyatt to Nana's at the usual time and come back to to the house and shower . . . which would make me late for work.

I chose to be late to work.

So, I get Scott up and he gets out of the house on time I assume. Then, Wyatt gets up around 5:15. So, I got him a sippy cup of milk and brought him into our bed and snuggled up with him while he watched cartoons. He was very affectionate and we enjoyed snoozing and snuggling.

I finally got out the door with him and thought that everything was going ok. However, there were some bovine that thought I needed an obstacle course this morning. I came around a corner on Anderson Road and there were cattle standing in the middle of the road. So, I hopped out and herded them over to the correct side of the road. I wasn't sure if they would stay since the fence was open right there, but at least they were out of MY way. I looked over to the other side and there were three cattle still standing there. I caught myself asking the ladies if they cared to join their friends on the other side of the road. That's when I decided that I am alone too much. I left them there and continued on my way.

Once I got to Nana's, Wyatt didn't really want me to leave. I finally untangled his arms from around my neck and headed back. As i was going up Low Gap Hill, a squirrel darted across the road, turned back and went back to the original side. I managed to miss him, but he looked confused.

At the top of the hill, I realized that I had tucked my cell phone into Wyatt's diaper bag and didn't get it out at Nana's. So, I turned around to go back. The squirrel did a little replay . . . honestly I felt like I was in a shooting gallery and I managed to get my phone.

So, I rushed back home and got ready for work. I threw the laundry that was in the dryer into the clean clothes basket. I put the laundry in the washer into the dryer. I started another load in the washer. I unloaded, reloaded and set the dishwasher timer to start for later. I put trash bags in the trash cans and headed out the door.

Now, I realize that I need to go BACK to Wal-Mart (this is at least the third time this week) and get laundry soap.

What's next? A bird shitting on my head?

One of my co-workers has an interesting way of dealing with stress. They find acorns and use a pen and Wite Out to make little heads that look like Jamaican people. I think they are pretty stressed. The tribe keeps getting bigger and bigger.

HALLOWEEN

Ok, so I am a week late . . . but it wasn't that exciting.

Wyatt did NOT want to get into his chicken costume when it came time to trick or treat. I was heartbroken. But, Daddy suggested putting him in some camo and taking him. So, we changed his clothes, gave him a slingshot and his plastic pumpkin bucket and headed over to the neighbor's house.

We got to exactly TWO houses before he informed me that he wanted to go home and stay home.

It was a big disappoinment. AND we didn't have very many trick or treaters.

Like father . .. like son

Nuff said.

Wyatt also has a habit of sticking his hand in my bra when he's tired, nervous or upset. He always tells me that he needs booby.

The other morning I was getting dressed. I don't hide anything from him at this point. When he points out parts on my body I just tell him that everyone has parts but everyone's looks a little different. So, the other morning he told me he needed booby as I was getting dressed. And then he said . . . I need it bad.

I had to laugh.

Meet Moo-Moo

This is Moo-Moo. Trina bought her for Wyatt a few months ago. Ever since he got it, Wyatt has insisted on keeping her in his bed.

Every night, we have to make sure that Bob-Bob (Sponge Bob) and Moo-Moo are where he wants them in his bed.

However, the last several nights, there has been a new twist to the routine. I now have to kiss Moo-Moo goodnight and tell her that I love her. And, he does too. And, he wants to hold Moo-Moo while he's having his milk cup before going to bed.

This morning, he insisted on bringing Moo-Moo into our bed while he watched tv with Daddy so that I could shower. He "shared" his milk cup with Moo-Moo. He would put the cup up to her mouth and then make little drinking noises for her.

A Huge Compliment

My mother-in-law gave me a huge compliment today.

She was talking about how her sisters are coming to visit tomorrow and they wanted homemade yeast rolls.

My mother-in-law asked me to make them. She said that I make the best and that they are so light and fluffy.

I almost cried. This came from a woman who is a FANTASTIC cook.

Raising him up right

So, Wyatt of course has a fascination with the vacuum cleaner . . . and ours was out last night because something was wrong with our furnace (that's the closet where we keep it). Once the furnace was fixed, which was apparently a quick fix, Wyatt wanted to sweep.

I found out he's been spending a little too much time with Nana. He went around the living room, put up his toys, picked up anything on the floor (like shoes) that he didn't want to have to sweep around and went at it.

I'm excited that he's helping, but worried that he's a little obsessive/compulsive about it.

Sweet Moments

Ok, with a toddler, they don't come along very often (at least when they are awake) but I have been seeing some lately.

Most nights, after dinner and before his bath, Wyatt and Daddy sit down to "read". Yeah, it's usually one of two picture books . . . but still, it's time they spend together with a book. Wyatt likes those two books because they contain pictures of things he likes to talk about: chairs, bananas, the moon, popsicles etc.

Right after this picture, Wyatt stabbed me in the thigh with the fork in his hand.

A Little Known Fact

The Cleveland Public Library, Harvard Law School, and Brown University all have books clad in skin stripped from executed criminals or from the poor.

Serves them right for being criminals. I wonder about the thing with the poor though . . . did they sell their bodies to be used once they were dead?

For Baby Ella . . .

LUMINARIA HELD ON MONUMENT CIRCLE FOR SIDS, PREGNANCY, AND INFANT LOSS AWARENESS MONTH
On this day, in communities across America, expectant moms will feel their baby's first kick; parents will listen joyfully to their newborn's first cry; and families will celebrate their healthy baby's first birthday. Also on this day, seven babies will be lost to Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS); more than 70 new parents will have listened sadly to their stillborn baby's silence; and countless lives will be lost to miscarriage and other sudden, unexpected infant deaths.



Indianapolis, IN – October 2008--October is SIDS, Pregnancy, and Infant Loss Awareness month, and AnEveningForElla.org is teaming up with the nation's leading organization dedicated to infant health and survival to help increase awareness about the devastation of infant death.



October 22, 2008 at 7 pm on Monument Circle in downtown Indianapolis, we will host "An Evening for Ella and Friends." A luminaria and memorial service will take place on the south staircase to remember the lives that have been lost, and will continue to be lost. Each luminaria bag will have the name of a baby lost. To submit a name, e-mail aneveningforella@gmail.com. The public is invited to attend.



"AnEveningForElla.org was established after the loss of our 10 week old daughter, Ella, on April 22 of this year. We hope to help parents prevent their baby's last night of sleep and at the same time, help them find the support they need to get through the devastation of miscarriage, still birth, or infant loss. We want people to remember the babies that have been lost so we can give the babies that are here the best care possible." ~Mel McMahon, Radio Personality 93.1 WIBC, 97.1 HANK FM, B105.7



According to the most recent data available, in Marion County alone, 146 babies were lost before they turned a year old and 117 babies were lost before they were full term (Source: IN State Department of Health ERC Date Analysis). Although those numbers may not seem high, the impact of those losses is immeasurable.



To learn more about this event, call Mel McMahon at (317) 684-8714 or visit www.aneveningforella.org. To learn more about the efforts of First Candle, visit www.firstcandle.org. Interested individuals can access information on ways they can help create awareness and/or show support for families and babies in their local community. Bilingual crisis counselors are also available 24/7 by calling, toll free, 1-800-221-7437.




First Candle/SIDS Alliance is a national, nonprofit, health organization dedicated to promoting infant health and survival during the prenatal period through age two with programs of advocacy, education and research; while at the same time providing compassionate grief support to those experiencing an infant death. For more information ..ing babies survive and thrive, to access local support services or to make a donation, please call 1.800.221.7437 or visit www.firstcandle.org

Ok, we may not all be able to attend, but everyone can take a moment to donate a little bit. This is not some random cause I have taken up (and we all know that I tend to be totally random, but not really big on joining causes), this is something that really speaks to me. Ella was lost, but we can help in saving future little ones. Let's honor her with a donation.

Every day is Monday this week . . .

I swear it's true.

This has been a crappy week.

I thought yesterday was bad. I was excited to go home, go to bed and wake up to a new day. Little did I know, that it was only going to get worse.

Yesterday, nothing seemed to go right. Everything annoyed me. I had no motivation. Scott called to say he was going hunting. I was annoyed and ok with it at the same time. I was annoyed knowing that I was going to have to take care of Wyatt by myself when I was exhausted. But, I was relieved knowing that once I put Wyatt to bed, I could work on my Blackberry. Bob hasn't been happy lately. The battery keeps going dead and I am not receiving any emails.
I took it to AT&T the other day to discuss the battery. Right after the lady played with it, i stopped getting emails. So, I had planned on spending some time trying to get the email set up again.

I picked Wyatt up after a long and exhausting day at work. He fell asleep on the way home. So, when we got home, I decided to lay down with him on the couch for a few minutes. Apparently, I fell asleep.

Scott came in the door at 6:30 and woke me up. Wyatt was not in a good mood when he woke up. It took us until 8:00 to get him thru the evening routine and back into bed.

By that time, I was so exhausted that I just wanted to go to bed. But, I needed to work on my Blackberry. I fiddled with it for an hour and then gave up and went to bed. I should have packed Wyatt's bag for this morning and laid his clothes out, but I didn't.

So, this morning, I woke up on time. But, my back hurt so bad, that I didn't feel like getting up because my back was really bothering me.

By the time I packed Wyatt's bag (I needed to pack enough stuff for him to spend the night at Nana's), it was time for us to BE there, not time for us to leave. And, I still had to pick up some milk and Gatorade at the gas station. Wyatt picked up my cell phone and dropped it. And the battery fell out. I put it together again quickly and received some emails. So, I thought I had solved the email situation somehow.

At the gas station, Wyatt ran around like a maniac while I tried to get everything we needed. As we got to the car, I squeezed too hard on my Polar Pop cup and dumped Mt. Dew on myself. Great.

We got to Nana's and I realize I had forgotten to get milk. I gave her a couple of dollars and kissed the child and headed out the door.

I got to Anderson Road (near where it intersects with Old 37 and the road was closed. So, I had to turn back around and backtrack.

I got to to work in a very bad mood . . . again.

My email stopped working, again. I looked things up online and finally decided to take the battery out and wait a few minutes. Apparently, there is a problem with the network every so often that causes emails to stack up.

I turned the phone back on and got 11 emails. So, I sent myself a test email. Nothing.

So, I'm sitting here cursing Bob and waiting to put the battery back in . . . again!

Projects, Projects and More Projects

It's that time of year where projects seems to be piling up even more than usual.

Besides a wedding, there are lots of other things going on.

Next week (I don't know which day yet) I am going to chaperone a trip to the FFA convention in Indianapolis.

I need to get some professional (or at least really good) pictures taken of Wyatt to include in the Christmas cards.

I need to start organizing addresses for the Christmas card list.

I have the crystal pieces to the chandelier that used to belong to my great-grandparents and I want to make them into Christmas tree decorations.

I have decided to put some of Wyatt's old clothes on ebay.

And, I want to take a course on digital photography.

That's all aside from the actual normal projects, holiday cooking, gift buying, etc.

I need a personal assistant!

Is it Monday?

I woke up late this morning. Now, what's funny is that late seems to be normal recently. So, I'm not sure why I'm calling it late.

But, I woke up late and with a sinus headache.

Wyatt refused to participate in getting ready to go to Nana's. Then, he dilly dallied out to the car. Once we got to the car, he gave me the trouble-making look. I dropped everything in my hands to catch him (knowing that he was going to make a run for it) but it was too late.

I ended up chasing him around 3 of our 4 vehicles until I caught him. Once I got him in the car, he griped the ENTIRE way to Nana's. He didn't want to be in the car. He didn't want to be in his carseat. He thought he had a boo-boo. I knew this last one was a ploy just by the way he was whimpering. He has an obvious fake whimper. So, I had to listen to him bitch at me all the way to Nana's. And, since I got up late, I hadn't had my nicotine, my Mt. Dew, or my daily medication . . . or a chance to treat the sinus headache.

I was feeling pretty sorry for Nana (and myself) when we pulled up. But, Poppy was there to get him out of the car and he cheered right up. Go figure.

So, the hubby is fishing in the last tournament (hopefully) of the season tonight. And, he'll probably bow hunt most of the weekend. I'm looking forward to a little peace and quiet this evening once I get Tropical Storm Wyatt off to bed.

My goals are to sort thru his clothes and make the change for seasons and size. And, I really need to order some pictures online while there is a sale going on. I also want to make some cinnamon rolls for the girls at my hair salon. They deserve them. I've just been so exhausted every night when I get home.

I was going thru my Blackberry (Bob) this morning and found this picture I took several weeks ago. I need to look at it and remember how sweet Wyatt can be.

Other Facebooks Groups I Won't Be Joining . . .

#1 I'm still sittin' in my dirty pee pants and I'm hammered drunk!
Ok, even if I need to join this one . . . I wouldn't admit to it.

#2 I'd Give up Sex For Boose as Long as I Could Still Jerk It
First of all, Booze is spelled wrong . . . and I pretty much have given up sex, without the booze. I don't have the time or the energy.

#3 Victims of Involuntary Accidents
Isn't every accident involuntary? Do we really need a group for it?

#4 I don't need to walk around Kennedy Pool because I work there bitches!
Nuff Said.

#5 Girls that may have intercourse with Tony Garossino
I have no idea who he is. Refer to #2

Crotch Laser, Activate!
Don't even understand this one. Refer to #2

They Had A Lot of Cats - To Love And Live In Cable Guy
Again, don't understand this one.

Donate to Adrian smith needs a left testicle foundation
I personally don't care if he needs a testicle. Refer to #2

FAT Friends Ltd.
I just thought this one was funny. I don't have anything against it.

Things that made me laugh . . .

So, I was looking for someone on Facebook today.

Of course, if you don't have their email address, you get all kinds of crazy results.

While looking for my cousin, I found a group that made me laugh. The title of the group is:

Bring back Lovejoy!! (That new blokes a twat!)

I'm trying to remember the last time I used the word twat. It was probably in 8th grade.

It made me laugh out loud though.

What the Hell?

I usually don't comment on local news here . . . mostly because not much interesting happens in this sleepy little town.

But, today, we had a complimentary edition of the local paper and something caught my eye:

Police seized two Doberman pinschers, computer hard drives, video equipment and a 4-foot-tall marijuana plant from the residence of a 41-year-old Bloomington man charged with bestiality in connection with a videotaped sexual encounter that involved the man, an unconscious woman and one of the dogs.

Thomas L. Meador, 324 E. First St., is charged with three felonies: bestiality, sexual battery and maintaining a common nuisance. He was arrested after police searched his home Friday. He bonded out of jail and is scheduled to appear in court for an initial hearing Friday.

According to documents filed in Monroe Circuit Court, Meador admitted performing the sex acts he is charged with, which were documented on a videotape that a house sitter discovered on his computer, copied and gave to police.

A probable cause affidavit filed by police says Meador and the 30-year-old woman had become intoxicated during the Indiana University-Murray State football game Sept. 6 and returned to his home. The woman apparently passed out, and Meador then masturbated the dog while in bed with the woman. He also is accused of sexually assaulting the woman while she was unconscious, and videotaping his actions.

The woman later told police she had no idea what had taken place that day in Meador’s bedroom and that she did not give consent for what had happened.

Bloomington Animal Control took the dogs from Meador and have kept them in custody so they could be examined for any signs of abuse.

Ok, now let's think about this . ..

The guy has a drunk and passed out woman on his bed and he jacks off the dog?

I'm not advocating him sexually assaulting anyone . . . but where do you get to the point where you say to yourself:

"I really want to pleasure the dog."

AND

Is the other dog jealous?