My Desk

Ok, this is my desk this morning when I came in. Yesterday was obviously a rough day.



Nuff said.

As I look at the picture, I wonder when I thought I would have time to read the magazine on my desk?

Apparently, you CAN get it from a toilet seat

I forgot to mention in my previous post the funniest thing about my visit to the doc in the box on Saturday.

As I walk in, there is what I will nicely call an "older rough looking" woman sitting in the waiting room.

As I am signing in, she says loudly to the receptionist at the desk . . . "And they told me you couldn't get it from a toilet seat."

Ok, those of you who know me, know that it was almost impossible for me to not burst out into giggles.

But, I managed to keep it in. I'm sure that my eyes went pretty wide though.

The receptionist told the woman with a very professional smile, "Yes, you CAN get it from a toilet seat."

At that point, I decided that I didn't have to pee as bad as I thought and I tried to busy myself so that I wouldn't become a part of that conversation.

The Birthday Curse

Ok, so since I was 30, I have had what I call the Birthday Curse.

Every year, either the day before, the day of, or the day after my birthday, something goes horribly wrong.

On my 30th birthday, I broke my foot looking for a tiara to wear to an ice hockey game.

One year, I had a miscarriage the day after my birthday.

One year, I was supposed to take Wyatt into surgery the day before my birthday . . . and we got to the hospital and they turned us down for surgery because he had a yeast infection. That's a long story. I think that was the year that the boy waiting on the bus in the Elmer Fudd hat gave me the finger too.

That gives you an idea of what seems to happen. I won't go thru every year.

However, this year was just like the others.

Saturday morning, I got up and I was hurrying to go to Nana's because it was opening day for gun season (deer) and I was taking lunch over for the guys.

I scooped Wyatt up in my arms because I couldn't find his shoes and headed out the door. Unfortunately, it had been raining and our wooden steps were slick . . . very slick.

I managed to cradle him enough that he didn't get hurt when I went down on my back. But, I was in a lot of hurt. I thought I would be ok though, so I went on out to Nana's. It didn't take long to realize that something was really wrong.

So, Nana and Aunt BB watched Wyatt while I ran in to see the doc in the box. When he went to check my knee, I had to explain that I had almost no feeling in the right side of my right knee due to a surgery mishap nearly 10 years ago and that I have a metal rod in my right thigh. Unfortunately, they decided that I needed x-rays. The nurse came in with one of those slimming, fashionable hospital gowns and announced that I needed to change into it for x-rays.

Now, I tend to feel I have a very expressive face. Apparently, at that moment, my face expressed how I felt about changing into the hospital gown. The nurse literally took a step back from me and started explaining why I needed to do it.
I personally feel that if an x-ray machine can see thru a hospital gown, why couldn't it see thru my shirt?

But, after about 30 seconds of awkward conversation by the nurse, I agreed to put the gown on. They let me keep my jeans and socks (if you know me well, you know why the sock thing is important) on.


She asked if I needed help with it and I let her know that I have PLENTY of experience with hospital gowns. As she was shuffling (and that's how I was walking at that point) to the x-ray room, she was trying to make sure my gown back stayed closed. I reminded her that most people would not get excited over seeing my back (remember, I had pants on) and to stop worrying about it. If someone got worked up over seeing a tattoo (or two) that was their problem.

Once in the x-ray room, the nurse handed me this REALLY heavy lead apron and asked if I could just hold it up over my waist with only my left hand while they x-rayed my right shoulder. Oh sure, why not?

As she went to duck out of the room to do the x-ray, she looked back and asked me if I thought I might be pregnant. I think I surprised her with my HELL NO! answer.

So, we got done with that x-ray and they needed to do my knee. She basically tells me to "hop" up on the table. It took some maneuvering, but I got up there with minimal pain.

Unfortunately, when she grabbed my toes to point them outwards, the pain was NOT minimal and I let her know what I thought of it. I also pointed out how stupid it was that they needed me to remove my shirt for a shoulder x-ray but not my denim jeans for a knee x-ray.

So, it came out that I had bruised the bone in my shoulder. My knee is fine. But, I will be sore all over from the fall for several days and it will take a while for the bruse on the bone to heal.

The doctor did tell me after the x-ray that the metal rod in my right thigh was impressive. I thanked him for noticing. I'm not sure he found that as funny as I did.

My directives? Rest. Yeah, the man totally doesn't get it, does he? At least they gave me some Lortab to take the edge off the pain. And, that's all it's doing. It's not getting rid of it.

So, if you need me, I will be in Lortab Land.

Surprise!

So, last night my friends and family threw a small surprise birthday party for me.

I was really floored when it happened.

One of my nephews got THIS for me for my birthday. They actually fit in the envelope of the birthday card.

As if this morning didn't suck enough . . .

So, today I had to rearrange my morning a little bit.

Scott needed to leave our house by 5 this morning. This meant that I either had to shower at 4 am or take Wyatt to Nana's at the usual time and come back to to the house and shower . . . which would make me late for work.

I chose to be late to work.

So, I get Scott up and he gets out of the house on time I assume. Then, Wyatt gets up around 5:15. So, I got him a sippy cup of milk and brought him into our bed and snuggled up with him while he watched cartoons. He was very affectionate and we enjoyed snoozing and snuggling.

I finally got out the door with him and thought that everything was going ok. However, there were some bovine that thought I needed an obstacle course this morning. I came around a corner on Anderson Road and there were cattle standing in the middle of the road. So, I hopped out and herded them over to the correct side of the road. I wasn't sure if they would stay since the fence was open right there, but at least they were out of MY way. I looked over to the other side and there were three cattle still standing there. I caught myself asking the ladies if they cared to join their friends on the other side of the road. That's when I decided that I am alone too much. I left them there and continued on my way.

Once I got to Nana's, Wyatt didn't really want me to leave. I finally untangled his arms from around my neck and headed back. As i was going up Low Gap Hill, a squirrel darted across the road, turned back and went back to the original side. I managed to miss him, but he looked confused.

At the top of the hill, I realized that I had tucked my cell phone into Wyatt's diaper bag and didn't get it out at Nana's. So, I turned around to go back. The squirrel did a little replay . . . honestly I felt like I was in a shooting gallery and I managed to get my phone.

So, I rushed back home and got ready for work. I threw the laundry that was in the dryer into the clean clothes basket. I put the laundry in the washer into the dryer. I started another load in the washer. I unloaded, reloaded and set the dishwasher timer to start for later. I put trash bags in the trash cans and headed out the door.

Now, I realize that I need to go BACK to Wal-Mart (this is at least the third time this week) and get laundry soap.

What's next? A bird shitting on my head?

One of my co-workers has an interesting way of dealing with stress. They find acorns and use a pen and Wite Out to make little heads that look like Jamaican people. I think they are pretty stressed. The tribe keeps getting bigger and bigger.

HALLOWEEN

Ok, so I am a week late . . . but it wasn't that exciting.

Wyatt did NOT want to get into his chicken costume when it came time to trick or treat. I was heartbroken. But, Daddy suggested putting him in some camo and taking him. So, we changed his clothes, gave him a slingshot and his plastic pumpkin bucket and headed over to the neighbor's house.

We got to exactly TWO houses before he informed me that he wanted to go home and stay home.

It was a big disappoinment. AND we didn't have very many trick or treaters.

Like father . .. like son

Nuff said.

Wyatt also has a habit of sticking his hand in my bra when he's tired, nervous or upset. He always tells me that he needs booby.

The other morning I was getting dressed. I don't hide anything from him at this point. When he points out parts on my body I just tell him that everyone has parts but everyone's looks a little different. So, the other morning he told me he needed booby as I was getting dressed. And then he said . . . I need it bad.

I had to laugh.

Meet Moo-Moo

This is Moo-Moo. Trina bought her for Wyatt a few months ago. Ever since he got it, Wyatt has insisted on keeping her in his bed.

Every night, we have to make sure that Bob-Bob (Sponge Bob) and Moo-Moo are where he wants them in his bed.

However, the last several nights, there has been a new twist to the routine. I now have to kiss Moo-Moo goodnight and tell her that I love her. And, he does too. And, he wants to hold Moo-Moo while he's having his milk cup before going to bed.

This morning, he insisted on bringing Moo-Moo into our bed while he watched tv with Daddy so that I could shower. He "shared" his milk cup with Moo-Moo. He would put the cup up to her mouth and then make little drinking noises for her.

A Huge Compliment

My mother-in-law gave me a huge compliment today.

She was talking about how her sisters are coming to visit tomorrow and they wanted homemade yeast rolls.

My mother-in-law asked me to make them. She said that I make the best and that they are so light and fluffy.

I almost cried. This came from a woman who is a FANTASTIC cook.

Raising him up right

So, Wyatt of course has a fascination with the vacuum cleaner . . . and ours was out last night because something was wrong with our furnace (that's the closet where we keep it). Once the furnace was fixed, which was apparently a quick fix, Wyatt wanted to sweep.

I found out he's been spending a little too much time with Nana. He went around the living room, put up his toys, picked up anything on the floor (like shoes) that he didn't want to have to sweep around and went at it.

I'm excited that he's helping, but worried that he's a little obsessive/compulsive about it.

Sweet Moments

Ok, with a toddler, they don't come along very often (at least when they are awake) but I have been seeing some lately.

Most nights, after dinner and before his bath, Wyatt and Daddy sit down to "read". Yeah, it's usually one of two picture books . . . but still, it's time they spend together with a book. Wyatt likes those two books because they contain pictures of things he likes to talk about: chairs, bananas, the moon, popsicles etc.

Right after this picture, Wyatt stabbed me in the thigh with the fork in his hand.

A Little Known Fact

The Cleveland Public Library, Harvard Law School, and Brown University all have books clad in skin stripped from executed criminals or from the poor.

Serves them right for being criminals. I wonder about the thing with the poor though . . . did they sell their bodies to be used once they were dead?

For Baby Ella . . .

LUMINARIA HELD ON MONUMENT CIRCLE FOR SIDS, PREGNANCY, AND INFANT LOSS AWARENESS MONTH
On this day, in communities across America, expectant moms will feel their baby's first kick; parents will listen joyfully to their newborn's first cry; and families will celebrate their healthy baby's first birthday. Also on this day, seven babies will be lost to Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS); more than 70 new parents will have listened sadly to their stillborn baby's silence; and countless lives will be lost to miscarriage and other sudden, unexpected infant deaths.



Indianapolis, IN – October 2008--October is SIDS, Pregnancy, and Infant Loss Awareness month, and AnEveningForElla.org is teaming up with the nation's leading organization dedicated to infant health and survival to help increase awareness about the devastation of infant death.



October 22, 2008 at 7 pm on Monument Circle in downtown Indianapolis, we will host "An Evening for Ella and Friends." A luminaria and memorial service will take place on the south staircase to remember the lives that have been lost, and will continue to be lost. Each luminaria bag will have the name of a baby lost. To submit a name, e-mail aneveningforella@gmail.com. The public is invited to attend.



"AnEveningForElla.org was established after the loss of our 10 week old daughter, Ella, on April 22 of this year. We hope to help parents prevent their baby's last night of sleep and at the same time, help them find the support they need to get through the devastation of miscarriage, still birth, or infant loss. We want people to remember the babies that have been lost so we can give the babies that are here the best care possible." ~Mel McMahon, Radio Personality 93.1 WIBC, 97.1 HANK FM, B105.7



According to the most recent data available, in Marion County alone, 146 babies were lost before they turned a year old and 117 babies were lost before they were full term (Source: IN State Department of Health ERC Date Analysis). Although those numbers may not seem high, the impact of those losses is immeasurable.



To learn more about this event, call Mel McMahon at (317) 684-8714 or visit www.aneveningforella.org. To learn more about the efforts of First Candle, visit www.firstcandle.org. Interested individuals can access information on ways they can help create awareness and/or show support for families and babies in their local community. Bilingual crisis counselors are also available 24/7 by calling, toll free, 1-800-221-7437.




First Candle/SIDS Alliance is a national, nonprofit, health organization dedicated to promoting infant health and survival during the prenatal period through age two with programs of advocacy, education and research; while at the same time providing compassionate grief support to those experiencing an infant death. For more information ..ing babies survive and thrive, to access local support services or to make a donation, please call 1.800.221.7437 or visit www.firstcandle.org

Ok, we may not all be able to attend, but everyone can take a moment to donate a little bit. This is not some random cause I have taken up (and we all know that I tend to be totally random, but not really big on joining causes), this is something that really speaks to me. Ella was lost, but we can help in saving future little ones. Let's honor her with a donation.

Every day is Monday this week . . .

I swear it's true.

This has been a crappy week.

I thought yesterday was bad. I was excited to go home, go to bed and wake up to a new day. Little did I know, that it was only going to get worse.

Yesterday, nothing seemed to go right. Everything annoyed me. I had no motivation. Scott called to say he was going hunting. I was annoyed and ok with it at the same time. I was annoyed knowing that I was going to have to take care of Wyatt by myself when I was exhausted. But, I was relieved knowing that once I put Wyatt to bed, I could work on my Blackberry. Bob hasn't been happy lately. The battery keeps going dead and I am not receiving any emails.
I took it to AT&T the other day to discuss the battery. Right after the lady played with it, i stopped getting emails. So, I had planned on spending some time trying to get the email set up again.

I picked Wyatt up after a long and exhausting day at work. He fell asleep on the way home. So, when we got home, I decided to lay down with him on the couch for a few minutes. Apparently, I fell asleep.

Scott came in the door at 6:30 and woke me up. Wyatt was not in a good mood when he woke up. It took us until 8:00 to get him thru the evening routine and back into bed.

By that time, I was so exhausted that I just wanted to go to bed. But, I needed to work on my Blackberry. I fiddled with it for an hour and then gave up and went to bed. I should have packed Wyatt's bag for this morning and laid his clothes out, but I didn't.

So, this morning, I woke up on time. But, my back hurt so bad, that I didn't feel like getting up because my back was really bothering me.

By the time I packed Wyatt's bag (I needed to pack enough stuff for him to spend the night at Nana's), it was time for us to BE there, not time for us to leave. And, I still had to pick up some milk and Gatorade at the gas station. Wyatt picked up my cell phone and dropped it. And the battery fell out. I put it together again quickly and received some emails. So, I thought I had solved the email situation somehow.

At the gas station, Wyatt ran around like a maniac while I tried to get everything we needed. As we got to the car, I squeezed too hard on my Polar Pop cup and dumped Mt. Dew on myself. Great.

We got to Nana's and I realize I had forgotten to get milk. I gave her a couple of dollars and kissed the child and headed out the door.

I got to Anderson Road (near where it intersects with Old 37 and the road was closed. So, I had to turn back around and backtrack.

I got to to work in a very bad mood . . . again.

My email stopped working, again. I looked things up online and finally decided to take the battery out and wait a few minutes. Apparently, there is a problem with the network every so often that causes emails to stack up.

I turned the phone back on and got 11 emails. So, I sent myself a test email. Nothing.

So, I'm sitting here cursing Bob and waiting to put the battery back in . . . again!

Projects, Projects and More Projects

It's that time of year where projects seems to be piling up even more than usual.

Besides a wedding, there are lots of other things going on.

Next week (I don't know which day yet) I am going to chaperone a trip to the FFA convention in Indianapolis.

I need to get some professional (or at least really good) pictures taken of Wyatt to include in the Christmas cards.

I need to start organizing addresses for the Christmas card list.

I have the crystal pieces to the chandelier that used to belong to my great-grandparents and I want to make them into Christmas tree decorations.

I have decided to put some of Wyatt's old clothes on ebay.

And, I want to take a course on digital photography.

That's all aside from the actual normal projects, holiday cooking, gift buying, etc.

I need a personal assistant!

Is it Monday?

I woke up late this morning. Now, what's funny is that late seems to be normal recently. So, I'm not sure why I'm calling it late.

But, I woke up late and with a sinus headache.

Wyatt refused to participate in getting ready to go to Nana's. Then, he dilly dallied out to the car. Once we got to the car, he gave me the trouble-making look. I dropped everything in my hands to catch him (knowing that he was going to make a run for it) but it was too late.

I ended up chasing him around 3 of our 4 vehicles until I caught him. Once I got him in the car, he griped the ENTIRE way to Nana's. He didn't want to be in the car. He didn't want to be in his carseat. He thought he had a boo-boo. I knew this last one was a ploy just by the way he was whimpering. He has an obvious fake whimper. So, I had to listen to him bitch at me all the way to Nana's. And, since I got up late, I hadn't had my nicotine, my Mt. Dew, or my daily medication . . . or a chance to treat the sinus headache.

I was feeling pretty sorry for Nana (and myself) when we pulled up. But, Poppy was there to get him out of the car and he cheered right up. Go figure.

So, the hubby is fishing in the last tournament (hopefully) of the season tonight. And, he'll probably bow hunt most of the weekend. I'm looking forward to a little peace and quiet this evening once I get Tropical Storm Wyatt off to bed.

My goals are to sort thru his clothes and make the change for seasons and size. And, I really need to order some pictures online while there is a sale going on. I also want to make some cinnamon rolls for the girls at my hair salon. They deserve them. I've just been so exhausted every night when I get home.

I was going thru my Blackberry (Bob) this morning and found this picture I took several weeks ago. I need to look at it and remember how sweet Wyatt can be.

Other Facebooks Groups I Won't Be Joining . . .

#1 I'm still sittin' in my dirty pee pants and I'm hammered drunk!
Ok, even if I need to join this one . . . I wouldn't admit to it.

#2 I'd Give up Sex For Boose as Long as I Could Still Jerk It
First of all, Booze is spelled wrong . . . and I pretty much have given up sex, without the booze. I don't have the time or the energy.

#3 Victims of Involuntary Accidents
Isn't every accident involuntary? Do we really need a group for it?

#4 I don't need to walk around Kennedy Pool because I work there bitches!
Nuff Said.

#5 Girls that may have intercourse with Tony Garossino
I have no idea who he is. Refer to #2

Crotch Laser, Activate!
Don't even understand this one. Refer to #2

They Had A Lot of Cats - To Love And Live In Cable Guy
Again, don't understand this one.

Donate to Adrian smith needs a left testicle foundation
I personally don't care if he needs a testicle. Refer to #2

FAT Friends Ltd.
I just thought this one was funny. I don't have anything against it.

Things that made me laugh . . .

So, I was looking for someone on Facebook today.

Of course, if you don't have their email address, you get all kinds of crazy results.

While looking for my cousin, I found a group that made me laugh. The title of the group is:

Bring back Lovejoy!! (That new blokes a twat!)

I'm trying to remember the last time I used the word twat. It was probably in 8th grade.

It made me laugh out loud though.

What the Hell?

I usually don't comment on local news here . . . mostly because not much interesting happens in this sleepy little town.

But, today, we had a complimentary edition of the local paper and something caught my eye:

Police seized two Doberman pinschers, computer hard drives, video equipment and a 4-foot-tall marijuana plant from the residence of a 41-year-old Bloomington man charged with bestiality in connection with a videotaped sexual encounter that involved the man, an unconscious woman and one of the dogs.

Thomas L. Meador, 324 E. First St., is charged with three felonies: bestiality, sexual battery and maintaining a common nuisance. He was arrested after police searched his home Friday. He bonded out of jail and is scheduled to appear in court for an initial hearing Friday.

According to documents filed in Monroe Circuit Court, Meador admitted performing the sex acts he is charged with, which were documented on a videotape that a house sitter discovered on his computer, copied and gave to police.

A probable cause affidavit filed by police says Meador and the 30-year-old woman had become intoxicated during the Indiana University-Murray State football game Sept. 6 and returned to his home. The woman apparently passed out, and Meador then masturbated the dog while in bed with the woman. He also is accused of sexually assaulting the woman while she was unconscious, and videotaping his actions.

The woman later told police she had no idea what had taken place that day in Meador’s bedroom and that she did not give consent for what had happened.

Bloomington Animal Control took the dogs from Meador and have kept them in custody so they could be examined for any signs of abuse.

Ok, now let's think about this . ..

The guy has a drunk and passed out woman on his bed and he jacks off the dog?

I'm not advocating him sexually assaulting anyone . . . but where do you get to the point where you say to yourself:

"I really want to pleasure the dog."

AND

Is the other dog jealous?

Another funny Quote

I have a friend who has a child who is (for generic terms) sick. So, illness and the possibility of death often come into our conversations between her child being sick and my job. Religious/spiritual beliefs often come up as well.

Today, we had a very odd conversation (well, other people will probably find it odd) and it ended with what I found to be a hilarious quote from her.

Somehow we got on the topic of people being "cured by God". The quotes are mine, not hers. Since I do not believe in God, I feel pretty cynical about this issue. I try not to . . . but I can't help it. And, I told her that I didn't feel God was going around and touching children/people and curing them. She said that she felt it was possible, but not likely. I like that we can have opposing views and not argue about it.

But, she was telling me about a family of a hospice patient she had assisted with. When the patient died, they wanted the hospital to leave the deceased relative in the hospital bed for 24 hours in case God wanted to bring her back to life/cure her.

I got a good laugh out of this. I asked my friend why God couldn't "cure" her if she was down in the morgue? Would he not be able to find her? Did he not have access to the morgue?

And my friend's reply was . . . "God can cure cancer, but he can't defrost you."

I pointed out the following:

1. You aren't frozen in the morgue . . . you are in a cooler.

2. And, if God could do something as big as bring you back to life . . . would it matter if your body temperature was a little lower than the room temp?

So, there it is . . . God has limits.

It made sense when I said it . . .

There's nothing worse than a high cow .. . well, except for raisin cupcakes of course.

I've heard of spanking the monkey . . .

but not washing the monkey.

Which came first?

The chicken or the egg?

WHO CARES!

Wyatt originally wanted to be a vacuum cleaner for Halloween. I thought that I was going to end up making a costume for him.

But, life is just too busy and I'm not talented enough.

So, a friend of mine mentioned a few weeks ago that a certain second-hand children's store had put out their Halloween costumes and they were reasonably priced. She bought one for her daughter.

Today, after buying a birthday gift for a friend, I popped into the store to look at Halloween costumes.

There seemed to be no organization to the racks and I didn't feel like sorting thru things. I asked one of the clerks how they were organized. She said that they weren't. I sighed and cruised thru them again. But, I just couldn't find what I was looking for quickly enough. My head started to pound. I decided to give up. As I turned and took one last look, a chicken costume caught my eye. It was hanging up really high on the wall.

I asked the clerk what size it was and she didn't know. But, she offered to get it down for me to look. She glanced at the tag and told me there was no size on it but I was welcome to look at it and to just hang it up on a rack when I was done. Obviously, she does not work on commission.

I looked in it and the size tag was still there . . . it was a 2T-3T. PERFECT! So, I got it. It was only $7!

Wyatt will love being a chicken and getting to say bawk bawk. He does it in such a cute way. . . well, I think so because he's mine.

My brain has paused

for station identification.

Besides life being the usual hectic thing, I had a migraine Saturday and Sunday that has caused my life to pause.

It always takes at least a day to get back into the swing of things after a migraine, but this one really did me in.

I'm still having a little problem with my vision. I'm also just getting over dropping everything, switching words around and forgetting words that I typically use.

But, I'm hoping that today things will get more back to normal. . . or at least my defitinion of normal.

Last night, Scott was talking to Trina on the phone about her lawn mower. I know, facinating stuff. I was playing a game on Bob and half-ass listening to his side of the conversation. Since I don't like to talk on the phone, I typically relay information thru him when he's on the phone to someone so that I don't have to get on the phone.

Well, Scott said something about it not being easy to remember things and it had something to do with living with me. I filed that in the back of my brain . . . not really thinking that it would come back up.

But, this morning it did . . . in a weird way. So, I decided to look online to find ways to make working more efficient. Since I have an email inbox, a physical inbox, multiple stacks of paper on my desk, stuff on my printer that I have printed out to remind me of things to do, my handwritten to do list and reminders on my Outlook . . .things get a little hairy. How best to handle it? Let's ignore all of them and surf the internet to figure out how to deal with them. Long live the Queen of Procrastination, huh?

I ran across some interesting things under Zen Habits. That led me to look at something else and then read yet something else. Then, something struck home. The guy talked about not being able to filter things properly. In other words, he was so busy "logging" things that he wanted to remember, that he logged things he didn't need to or forgot why he thought he would be interested in them.

Anyone who knows me well knows that there is no filter between my brain and my mouth. What I think comes out . . . unfortunately. If you want an honest opinion, I'm the person to ask.

But, that's not where I was going with this. I can't filter out information that I don't need or recall it later when I DO need it. I have no spam filter on my brain.

For instance, last week, I was reading Reader's Digest (yes, I'm an old woman at heart) and found an article about saving money. It included lots of tips including several websites where you can get great coupons or coupon codes. I keep meaning to pull those websites out of the article and mark them as favorites in Bob. But, I never seem to get that far.

Yesterday, I decided that I need diapers. Since I ordered from diapers.com last time and was really happy (free shipping, they came the next day and $10 off my order) I decided I would do it again.

Alas, my code doesn't work since I'm not a first time shopper. Didn't I get a code to use earler this month via email as a returning customer? I think I did . . . but I can't find it. I then spent the next 30 minutes trying to find a code that WOULD work. I could have driven to Sam's Club and bought the damn things by now. But, my mind is convinced that I should be getting them delivered to me and delivery should be free.

See what I mean? There's so much stuff floating around that I can't sort it out. Last night I had a moment of inspiration. I need a little notebook to put in my purse to write things down . . . wait a minute, I have one . . .


Where was I going with this?

Peas and Carrots JEN NAY!

Ok, the Jenny that I am referring to will get the title . . .and be horrified that I am using it in my blog and adding her story to my story.

Earlier this summer, Jenny, Trina and I got together for lunch. This is a guaranteed laugh riot.

So, at some point, I catch Jenny telling Trina something along the lines that the chipmunk bit her.

I'm not really sure what I was doing that I missed the first part of the story . . . I was probably playing with my Blackberry, Bob.

But, I stopped the conversation at that point and made her start over.

Apparently, she was outside and saw a cat attacking a chipmunk. So, Jenny held the cat at bay (and this is where it gets funny), leaned down and picked up the chipmunk to "save" it. What did she get for saving its life? It bit her. She then threw it to the ground which probabaly made it a retarded chipmunk. That's a funny picture right there. I asked her why she just didn't squirt them with a garden hose. Surely they would each have run away. Or, at least be so stunned that the cat would stop attacking the chipmunk.

So, a few weeks ago, I was coming in the house and saw something moving in our little plastic pond. I figured it was a frog and I went over to check. For those of you not familiar with my strange ways, I am facinated by turtles and frogs. I rarely see one that I dont pick it up and fiddle with it for a little bit.

When I got closer, I realized it was a chipmunk in the pond. Apparently, he had slipped into it and couldn't get out because the edges are straight up and down and the water level was too low for him to grip the rim. Last year I found a dead baby mole in the pond for the same reason. I have considered posting a sign that says "No lifeguard on duty" to help alleviate the issue.

Now, I am normally one to let nature take its course. But, I didn't want to have to nag my husband about fishing out the dead chipmunk for a week.

So, I ran inside and grabbed the large purple plastic bowl that we use for Halloween candy. Don't ask why it was so handy. It's another story.

Then, I ran out to the pond, scooped up the chipmunk with as little water in the bowl as possible and dumped him out on to the ground.

He stood there panting for a few seconds and then skittered away. I did stop to take a picture of him before I rescued him. You know me, I have to have pictures of everything.

I AM NOT A TREE HUGGER, NOR DO I THINK I CAN SAVE THE WORLD. But, that had to be good for my Karma, right? And, I didn't get bit in the process.

Disco Baby!

Today, in a roundabout way, I ended up on the subject of disco and it brought back a lot of memories. Here's the first album that I bought with my own money. It's just one song, but it's hilarious to think I wanted this album so badly.

I have been sadly lacking in blogging lately.

It's not that nothing has happened. It's just that I've been too busy and too tired to get anything organized.

I have several topics from the past few weeks that I wanted to talk about. But, when Michelle sent this to me, it trumped everything else.

I Need A 12 Step Program

Ok, I probably need more than one considering my vices and quirks.

But, this morning, I NEED an iced green tea latte from Starbucks. It's been on my mind all morning. I could have stopped and gotten one on the way to work, but I was trying to have some will power.

I finally gave in. And, now is on its way to me.



Considering how bad I am jonesing for this, I looked up the 12 Steps from AA and molded them to fit my problem and spiritual beliefs:

1. We admit we are powerless over Starbucks—that our lives have become unmanageable.
2. Have come to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of Karma
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. Are entirely ready to remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly ask Karma to remove our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. Make direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10. Continue to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admit it.
11. Seek through meditation to improve our conscious contact with Karma, seeking only for knowledge of it for us and the power to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we try to carry this message to Starbucksaholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

Anyone care to join me on this quest?

It's all perspective . . .

Lately, there's been a LOT of contsruction going on in Bloomington and Martinsville. It seems that every part of my long commute is hampered by the construction. Even looking at the guys working along the road has lost its novelty.

Last week, I ran into a different sort of a traffic jam. I came over a hill and the road was FILLED with these geese. They had several cars lined up (and this is in the middle of nowhere) waiting for them to move.

I couldn't really get a good picture of them until they had crossed the road and went into someone's yard . . . but it did make me laugh. At least the scenery during the traffic jams had changed.

A Little Help

Being a deep believer in Karma, I TRY to do some small random acts of kindness (even thought I hate that phrase) every once in a while.

Today, I need a little help in giving someone a lift up in the Karma area.

I listen to the same radio station every morning (of course, it's part of my OCD) and got wrapped up in the pregnancy of the traffic reporter on that show. I'm not sure why I originally got wrapped up in it. But, I anxiously awaited the announcement of the baby's birth. When Mel would not be on the show any particular day, I would be SURE that she was giving birth.

Finally, Ella came. Then, I waited for Mel to come on the show to talk about her. I remember the week that they were expecting Mel to come in with Ella. Even though I wouldn't see her, I was anxious to hear Mel talk about her.

Unfortunately, Ella passed away around the age of 10 weeks old. My heart went out to Mel immediately. Even though I have not had a child pass away and can't imagine the pain that she went thru, I felt some connection with her loss.

Last month, I finally reached out and sent Mel a message (thru MySpace) that I think about her every day. I didn't want to intrude on her life or her grieving, but just wanted her to know that people were thinking of her, even if they don't know her.

Mel lost Ella four months ago today. I'm sure she is having an especially hard time today.

Ellas was beautiful. She had the biggest eyes . . . and a smile that lit up the world. She had endless possibilities ahead in her life. And, she's obviously touched many lives.

Please take a moment to send Mel warm thoughts of support. We may not have experienced the loss of a child. But, we have ALL lost someone dear to us . . . now imagine that loss times infinity.

Some Days You Need A Little Jay & Silent Bob

cleRKKS

Yesterday's Marathon

Yesterday was a marathon day for me.

On the way to drop off Baby Boo-Boo, I paid the water bill.

Then, I worked hard to catch up on things at the office since Jenn is back from maternity leave.

I went to Wal-Mart to get stuff to make a diaper cake for Akram and his wife. The package goes out tomorrow.

Since Scott was picking up Wyatt, I stopped and got gas on the way home. Then, I made sure Wyatt had dinner, his bath, his milk and went to bed before going back into town to the ENT.

Now, the ENT visit was exhausting within itself. My appt. was for 7:50 pm, but I got there early, so I got in early.

The doctor is a little Indian (dots,not feathers) guy. He is soft-spoken and has an accent . . .and I can't hear out of one ear because of this ear infection.

I THINK we sort of got into it even before my appt. because he said something about Edwards and the scandal. Now, personally, I don't care about it. I vote Republican, so it doesn't matter.

However, I didn't think it was the appropriate moment to announce my political views, so I just said something along the lines that everyone goofs up, but people who are known nationally get more grief for it.

Apparently, he didn't like my lenient point of view on it.

The exam turned out even weirder. He asked me the same questions in the exam room that we had gone over in the waiting room and that I had answered on the forms.

When I got to the point about breaking my femur, he seemed a little confused. I got the feeling that he couldn't figure out what that was.

We also got into it about my smoking until I told him that a lecture from him wasn't not going to convince me to quit because I enjoy it.

He asked me if my nose ever itched. I told him yes and that I thought everyone's did. He agreed and then chuckled.

Then, he started testing my ears with a tuning fork. There was one that he placed on my forehead and that I couldn't hear at all.

So, what did he say?

I have an ear infection (surprise!) a sinus infection (surprise!) and some sort of allergies.

He gave me a prescription for Augmentin and told me my hearing should start to return by Monday. Then, he told me he would see me in 2 weeks for allergy testing.

I'm not particularly fond of this guy, but what choice do I have?

By the time I went to the pharmacy and got home, it was 9:00 pm.

I watched a REALLY strange episode of South Park and drifted off to sleep.

I'm hoping that today goes better. I still have a lot on my plate and I'm exhausted.

Big Doin's at the Davis House

So, Saturday we are hosting a cookout for my Katie's family. I'm really excited about this.

We haven't done a big cookout since we moved to the house 2 years ago. It was kind of thrown together last night.

So, what's on the menu?

Hamburgers
Hot dogs
Brats
Deer steaks
Sweet Corn
Fresh green beans (from my garden) and new potatoes
Chips
Dip (homemade)
Pasta salad
Baked beans
Deviled eggs (of course)
Cinnamon rolls (in honor of Katie's mom, Lisa)
Homemade Reese's cup pie (I think)
Maybe some watermelon?
And,
Beer
Pop
Water
Tea
Lemonade? Katie and Brady got us this adorable drink pitcher with lemonade mix in it and I've been trying to find a special (and fun) time to use it. I think tomorrow would be perfect!

I'm really looking forward to not only having everyone over, but to all the cooking I'll be doing for it. I love to putter around in the kitchen on the weekends.

Katie and her family have been a blessing to us. They have taken us in as part of their family. They are always inviting us over and never asking us to bring anything. It's about time we did something for THEM!

Plus, us girls can talk wedding-talk!

My Short Attention Span & Lack of Patience

My short attention span and lack of patience sent me off on a tangent today. I dug out my handy Wicked French for the Traveler book that was given to me by Mike Millar as one of my going away presents when I left the AHo.

It's a really funny book and I appreciate getting it.

So, to relieve some stress (since it's still illegal to kill people), I am going to pull a couple of phrases from the book with their translations.

Since I am in a bad mood, let's start with "Cultivating Your Attitude Problem".

Vous les paysans, vous avez des truffes ala place de cerveau!

translation:

You peasants have truffles for brains!

Je n'en ai rien a foutre, espece de depuceleur de vierges.

translation:

I don't give a shit, defiler of virgins!

And, my personal favorite (because it's short and to the point:

Va te faire foutre, fumier a l'haleine de roquet.

translation:

Up yours, dog breath.

*many accent marks are missing from these quotes because I'm too lazy to find and insert them. DEAL WITH IT!

I'm giving him an A for A-riginality

Ok, so I heard about this story on the radio this morning. Now, being the Queen of Procrastination, I normally wouldn't get around to looking it up for two months. But, this had me laughing so I looked it up right away.

Here's the new story:

XENIA, Ohio (WDTN) - Some workers at a Greene County restaurant are in hot water with the health department, after an employee took a bubble bath in a store sink.

It happened at the Burger King on Orange Street in Xenia.

A four-minute video posted on MySpace.com captured the employee, self-described as Mr. Unstable, bathing nude in a large stainless steel sink as several other employees and a store manager looked on.

The video began making its rounds on the Internet Monday morning. One of the recipients was Greene County Health Commissioner, Mark McDonnell.

"My first thought was oh my God," said McDonnell.

McDonnell immediately sent staff to restaurant to investigate the numerous health code violations.

He said the restaurant was aware of the incident and had already taken steps to clean up, including disposing of all the utensils and sanitizing the sink twice.

All of the employees involved were fired.

"You can't account for everyone's stupid actions but when things do happen if you respond to it and take the appropriate action that's reassuring," McDonnell said.

Some Burger King patrons don't agree.

"That's just, it's wrong it's a place where families come to eat and them taking a bath in the sink that's just not work ethic," said Crystal Dodge, who said she used to eat at Burger King all the time.

2News reporter Megan O'Rourke went to the Xenia Burger King Monday afternoon looking for comment, but was met at the door by an employee who asked her to leave and referred comment to Burger King's corporate office.

Burger King spokesperson Denise Wilson emailed the following statement to 2News Monday afternoon:

"Burger King Corp. was just notified of this incident and is cooperating fully with the health department. We have sanitized the sink and have disposed of all other kitchen tools and utensils that were used during the incident.

We have also taken appropriate corrective action on the employees that were involved in this video. Additionally, the remaining staff at this restaurant is being retrained in health and sanitation procedures."

But for diners like Crystal, it may be too little, too late.

"That's just disgusting. I wouldn't want to eat here after I heard something like that, that's just not appropriate for employment," Dodge said.

"This kind of stunt really is a black eye for the restaurant itself."

Health Department officials plan to talk with prosecutors to see if any criminal charges will be filed, but they don't have any plans to issue fines at this time.

Report by Megan O'Rourke, WDTN. Web produced by Tony Heitmeyer

Here's the video: It's kind of hard to hear him . . .but I get the impression it's his birthday.

I'm also wondering who in the hell hired him? I don't have a problem with him bathing in the sink . .. hey, at least he's bathing. But, have you looked at his hair? Who hires him to serve the public?

Ok, it's been a week

And I haven't posted. Between the torn back muscle and this massive head cold and ear infection, I have not had the energy to do much of anything.

I did get some more bread and butter pickles done this last weekend.

And, I made blackberry dumplings for my sister-in-law.

I helped one of my nieces choose her classes for her sophomore year in high school.

And, I went to a cookout. But, I am dead on my feet right now. I can't even hear out of my left ear because of the infection.

It will either get better or I'll die and I'm not sure which I would prefer right now.

However, I'm knee deep in helping to plan the wedding. I just have to get past the hurdle of finding a venue that fits the feeling she's looking for and fits a budget.

I found a picture of a super cute vacuum cleaner costume online today.




And, when doing a search for "vacuum cleaner" on another Halloween website today, I came up with this picture . . . it confuses me.

The Foo-Foom

Wyatt is obsessed with vacuum cleaners. He loves them. He loves to use them. He calls them Foo-Fooms.

So, it should be no surprise that, when I asked him Monday night what he wanted to be for Halloween, he said a Foo-Foom.

Hopefully he will change his mind before Halloween. But, if not, guess what I will be trying to make?

FINALLY!

I have been absent from my blog the last several days.

Friday, Wyatt jumped from the couch and I tried to catch him. Unfortunately, I hurt my back.

BB came over on Saturday to watch Wyatt so that I could go to the doctor.

Apparently, I tore a muscle in my back and it's bleeding. That means no lifting at all for 10 days. I think they forget that I have a child and don't have much of an option.

But, Trina is filling in for a few evenings to help me out with Wyatt. Thank goodness for that.

And, we're planning a wedding! Brady and Katie are getting married!

I am SO excited!

More later. My back hurts. It's time for my pain killer and muscle relaxer. I just wanted to pop in while I am waiting for my new Blackberry to restore from the back up of my old one. Feels like it is taking forever. But, my whole life is in it, so I am not surprised.

A Bad Day

Yesterday was a bad day.

I got up late . . . but that wasn't the worst of it.

I dropped Baby Boo Boo off at Nana's.

I stopped at the Bigfoot.

I stopped to get some breakfast.

I stopped to drop off some pickles to Trina . . .which is when I realized that one of my tires was almost flat.

I went over to the Wal-Mart gas station to put air in the tire . .. and it was raining. As I bent over, my phone and my debit card fell out of my shirt pocket and started floating down to the storm drain. I caught them in time.

When I got to work, I realized that I had dirt ALL over my clothes from the hose at the gas station.

Then, at lunch, I realized that when I hit keys on my phone, my phone just kept typing in "hl".

I took it over to AT&T and Parker said I needed to call the warranty number.

They said I needed to wipe it, but I had never backed it up.

I got a display case ready to ship and realized that it was missing a latch. So, I had to go to the hardware store to get a new one.

But, I forgot to put the latches on the case before UPS got there and took the case. So, I had to call them and ask the driver to bring the case back.

I DID manage to find the disk and cable to back up my Blackberry to the computer. I wiped it . . . but the trackball still doesn't do anything when I press it in. Luckily, there is an enter key on the keyboard.

I called AT&T and they are sending me a new phone.

I'm glad yesterday was over . . . but I got up REALLY late this morning. Can we just start the whole week over?

Does this car make me look fat?

That's my question this week.

Friday, as I was driving home from work, I thought about how good I felt about the way I looked that day.

This is not a common thing for me.

So, I began to wonder what made me feel good about the way I looked.

It hit me. When I am driving the Blazer (the Mazda was in the shop again because the AC went out AGAIN! But, it was fixed at no charge) I feel smaller. I don't feel as chunky.

Which made me wonder if the old Mazda makes me feel fat and frumpy?

Pickeling in Peace

That's right. I am pickeling in peace today.

I had decided that this year I would make my own bread and butter pickels out of our garden.

Yesterday, it became apparent that it was time to get on the ball. I had already asked Scott's dad for advice. He seemed tickled pink that I was starting up this tradition at our house because he loves to can.

He insisted on giving me the bread and butter mix that he likes and letting me borrow his cold packer . . . although I offered to go buy all of it myself.

Saturday morning I went and bought jars and some alum. He said that it would keep the pickles crunchy.

Saturday night we picked them . . . and a lot of green beans.

So, now I am pickeling them. Thank goodness I had the thought to buy some extra jars when I went to Wal-Mart (and some extra mix) to buy the vinegar.

The first box of jars is already filled with cucumbers and I'm waiting for the mix to boil.

Scott took Wyatt over to take some deer meat and some of the green beans to Rick and Lisa's.

So, I have the kitchen to myself and I'm having a ball learning this.

I may even learn to make jelly. I also need to learn how to make Scott's dad's salsa (it's fantastic) and his chili starter (again, the best I've ever had).

It's hard work . . .but it's so much fun. I love being able to putter around in the kitchen and try something new.

I'm also thankful today for our wonderful families and friends. We've had such a great weekend.

Although Wyatt was horrible at Wal-Mart yesterday when I took him (I actually told him I was going to leave him at the lost and found), we did get out a bit for Lisa and Rick's birthday party. Their family and friends are great. They've taken us right in and made us feel like part of their family. I can't imagine life without them.

BB took care of Wyatt so that we could go. Of course, I had my OCD list of things I wanted to accomplish yesterday. I had some of it done. She picked it up and went thru the rest of it and did it for me. I felt horribly guilty. And, we missed Wyatt's bedtime which always makes me sad. I did go in and check on him before I flopped down in bed though.

This morning, I made the boys breakfast and then I took a nap. I had a horrible sinus headache.

Then, off to Wal-Mart for the vinegar. I had to call my mom to find out where the vinegar was in the store. She's so great. She didn't even ask me why I wanted it, she just told me. And, of course, it was right where she said it would be. I love having a mom like that. She's the best.

So, now I'm pickeling in peace.

Too Good To Be True

Ok, sometimes, my husband is too good to be true.

I am working most of this afternoon (although I don't normally work Friday afternoons during the summer) to catch up on some stuff in my office. It was getting scary.

I realized that I was out of cigarettes. I called the hubby to see if he was in town and could get me some.

Not only did he bring me cigarettes, he brought me lunch. A delicious one at that.

Out of gas

This morning I was out of gas, mentally, physically and literally.

It's been a busy two weeks for me. There hasn't seemed to be a restful moment.

So, this morning, I was exhausted and looking forward to only working part of the day.

I KNEW that the gas tank on the Blazer was pretty much on E. But, I figured I might have enough to get to the gas station.

As I was pulling into the median to cross the highway to get gas, I realized that I had no power steering on the Blazer.

I looked down and realized that the Blazer wasn't running . . . . oops.

I cranked it . . . and it didn't start. Now, I wasn't worried about our safety (I had Wyatt with me) because we were in the median and literally right across from the gas station. But, I was a little apprehensive.

I cranked it again and it started. I scooted across the highway and hoped I wouldn't have to circle around the lot to find an open pump on the correct side of the truck.

We barely got pulled up to the pump when the truck died again . . . but we made it.

Earlier this week, as I was taking Wyatt to his Nana's, I came to a stop sign and saw the funniest thing.




Keep in mind, this intersection is at Farr Road and Anderson Road. Farr is a gravel road that runs thru the edge of the forestry between Old 37 and Anderson. It is really out in the middle of nowhere. I took pictures around it to illustrate it.









Why is it suddenly sitting there?

Singles Ads Part Deux.5

Ok, one last story that sort of relates to the singles ad that I placed.

So, while my ad was running, I was dating other men that I had met the old-fashioned way (bar).

While at the bar one night, I bumped into (probably literally) a "cute" guy who looked to be in his late 30's, early 40's. I happened to be there with some friends and one or two co-workers. He asked if he could buy me a drink and we talked for a few minutes. Then, he asked if I would like to come over and meet his co-worker. So, I went over to their table and met his co-worker. He was a very pleasant man with a New Hampshire accent. Nice enough to talk to. But, the first guy seemed a little too eager. So, I told him I was a widow . . . I lie a lot when I drink. And, I pulled one of my co-workers over and dumped her off on them and moved on.

So, the next morning, I get up and find two business cards (for the first guy) on the floor with my clothes that I had worn the night before. I asked my roommate how they came to be on the floor. She said that she had seen the guy tuck them into the waistband of my pants while I was talking to him.

I kept the cards although I didn't think I was interested . . . I should have thrown them away.

But, several weeks later, I was coming back from Indpls from a date with an ex-boyfriend. Weird, I know. But, he was in Indy visiting his parents and we had decided to get together for a few drinks. Well, the date ended rather abruptly because I actually sort of had a date in Bloomington later that evening. I told the ex that he was more than welcome to come back to my place and spend the night. He wanted to go to a hotel. We couldn't agree, so I was driving back to Bloomington for my date later that evening. I am using the term date loosely here . . .and you'll see why in a minute.

I happened to see the business card when I got in my wallet to get my card to buy gas. On a whim, I called him and left a message. I explained who I was. A few minutes later, he called back and asked if I wanted to meet him for a drink. I agreed but admitted I had plans for later in the evening.

So, we met u p for a drink (or two, or three) and he seemed pleasant enough again. For some reason, I didn't want to stop talking with him, but I didn't want to stay at that bar either . . . you couldn't smoke in it.

So, I explained that I had plans for later that evening that would include a guy that I was sort of seeing on and off. I told him he was welcome to come but that things might seem a little strange until everyone got the vibe that I wasn't there to be with the other one. He agreed and we drove to the other bar.

As soon as I walked in, there was the first guy. I could tell he wasn't thrilled. But, he eventually got distracted by some other girl that was at our table for some reason (she wasn't part of our regualar group) and things seemed to be going ok.

So, as the night ends (Close your eyes Dad), we decided that I would spend the night at his place. I remember telling him right before things got too "busy" that this would not make me his girlfriend and not to get used to me because I wasn't looking for a relationship and certainly didn't want to date anyone exclusively.

The next morning, I am sitting at his table drinking some juice and reading the paper while he was busy doing something. As usual, I was looking thru the personals. He came over and was reading them over my shoulder. At one point, he pointed out that he saw one that he should answer. I laughed because it was mine. He didn't believe me. I handed him the phone, told him to call the voice mail box and listen to the voice.

What are the odds of that?

Too bad he didn't work out. He reminded me too much of my ex-husband and I reminded him a lot of his ex-wife. Plus, he was a CPA and very yuppy. I was a redneck girl managing a trailer park and some rentals.

But, it WAS funny!

Singles Ads Part Deux

Ok, to follow up on yesterday's singles ads theme.

My other date was with an Italian (honestly from Italy) plumber . . . who I would guess was in his mid to late 50's.

He had his shirt unbuttoned too far, was hairy, was greasy and had WAY too much gold jewelry along with an accent I could barely understand.

But, I'm jumping ahead of myself.

Let's start with a little bit prior to the date.

He wanted to meet at a local pub. It's one that I enjoy going to during the day, but hate going to at night. We agreed to meeting during the afternoon.

I get there and I'm standing outside along Kirkwood (again, I HATE Kirkwood) and, as I am standing there a while, I notice that a VERY handsome man seems to be waiting for someone and keeps looking over at me. Ok, he had a ponytail, which is not my type, but he had on really tight jeans, cowboy boots and a cowboy hat . . . he was hot.

Anyway, I finally got up the nerve and asked him if he was waiting for a blind date. He said he was. I said maybe I was his blind date. He told me no, that his was a brunette. But, he did smile and say he was wishing it had been me. At that point, I should have asked him to ditch his date and we could go somewhere else. . . or at least give him my phone number, but I didn't.

So, hairy, greasy, hard to understand Italian guy showed up. Although it wasn't lunch or dinner time, he ordered a bowl of soup. I IMMEDIATELY knew (just from talking to him, not from the soup) that I was not interested.

So, I excused myself to go to the ladies room. From there, I called home with a plan to tell my roommate to call me and say there was some sort of an emergency and I needed to come home. She did not answer the phone. So, I left her a voice mail with my plan.

About 20 minutes (a LONG 20 minutes) later, my roommate called. We had a pretend conversation about her getting stung by a bee and me needing to take her to the hospital. Actually, that had nothing to do with the conversation, but I made my end sound like it did.

So, I made my excuses and left. As I got up to leave, he gets in his wallet and hands me a slip of paper where he has already written down his first name and phone number. Great.

Oh, did I mention that he asked me to come back to his trailer and smoke pot with him while he was eating his soup?

I had NO intentions of ever going out with (or speaking with) this man again. But, he kept calling me. Finally, he called me on a Friday and asked me out for that evening. He was very insistent. So, I lied and told him I was on my way to Louisville for a work-related trip and would be gone until at least the following Tuesday.

He kept calling. I finally told him that I was packing my stuff to move to Louisville for work.

He still called me for a while but I never answered his calls.

I still shudder when I think of him.

Singles Ads

There have been a lot of commercials for online dating services lately. It's getting annoying.

While I am sure that there has to be some science to it . . . I find it weird.

It got me to thinking on the way home about my own experience with a personals ad several years ago . . . obviously while I was single.

I used to breeze thru the singles ad on a fairly regular basis because I found it curious. Who were all these people "advertising" that they wanted a date. And, I loved figuring out what the "codes" meant. SWF, DBM, ISO, LTR etc.

What always got me was camping. I personally feel that not THAT many people can be interested in camping. It must be code for something else that I don't understand . . . some subculture that I am obviously not part of.

Anyway, that's not the point. The point is (I think) that, one night, while lounging on the couch, I was reading the personals out loud to my roommate. She is a whole different story for some other time.

We then thought it would be funny to make up what MY personals ad would say. So, I scribbled it in the margin of the paper while we giggled about it.

Then, after SEVERAL beers (and probably a joint), I decided to do it. What harm could come of it? At worst, no one would be interested in me. At best, I might meet someone who is ok.

So, I learned that one should not drink and read the personals. Why?

I had exactly two dates (two different men) from my ad. Oh wait, I should back up. I should tell you what my ad said.

Now, I can't remember EXACTLY what it said (remember, several beers), but it said something like . . .

SWF - 30 year old female. 5'4", 102 lbs (yeah, it was YEARS ago) blonde/blue girl-next-door type looking for SWM. Age 25-45 (I'm an open minded woman when it comes to age) 6 ft. +, 220+ lb, must be educated and have sense of humor. Dark hair/eyes preferred. East Coast/Chicago accents preferred. Looking for "casual dating"

Ok, "casual dating" was the best term I could come up for what I really wanted. I didn't think they would allow what I really wanted to be printed in the local paper. (Cover your eyes Dad)

First of all, my roommate laughed at calling myself the girl-next-door type. She didn't think that fit me at all. But, when pressed for a better adjective, she couldn't come up with one. I was going for the "average" type but didn't want to use that word.

What did I get from my ad?

The first guy called. He seemed ok. He wanted to meet that evening at the Starbucks just off of Kirkwood. I didn't have anything better to do . . . so I beautified myself and went to town. I HATE Kirkwood, but I thought it might be worth it. Was I wrong.

I had a cup of tea and we chatted for a while. He seemed pretty dumb, but seemed harmless.

He asked me at one point if I was a smoker. I figured this was a deal breaker but answered truthfully. He said he could tell because I was starting to bounce my leg.

He offered me the chance to walk around downtown with him so that I could smoke. Excuse me, but smokers don't tend to like to take walks. But, I agreed because I wanted to talk a little more and really needed the cigarette.

We ended up at the Irish Lion by a very long route. He stopped and asked if I would like to go in and have a drink. I felt that I could surely use one at that point.

We go in and sit down. I ordered a beer . . . and he orders water. Did I forget to mention that he's a "personal trainer"? I think I did.

I asked him why he wasn't having a drink and he said he didn't ruin his body by drinking and smoking. Oh Lord.

So, we continued to talk for a bit and then decided it was getting late. He kind of acted like he wanted to give me a kiss but I had already warned him that I didn't kiss on the first date.

Close your eyes Dad . . . unless, of course, we ended up knocking boots on the first date . . . but he and I didn't.

So, he asked if he could see me again. I thought it was pointless but I agreed. He said he would take me out on Thursday of that week for dinner.

I went home and told my roommate how it went. She gave me a hard time for agreeing to a second date. My other roommate had company and they asked who I had gone out with. When I told them his name, they said they had went to school with him and he was an idiot and somewhat psycho.

FANTASTIC!

I was really dreading going out to dinner that week. He called me just a few hours before the date and said that he had to go do something for him mom but asked if he could call me later to reschedule. I was relieved that he cancelled but reluctantly agreed that he could call me.

He never did . . . thank goodness.

Ok, this went on longer than I thought. And the other story is long too . . . so I will post about it later on.

It involves a secret phone call from a bar bathroom . . . it's really funny.

Zero Tolerance for bullshit

That's where I am right now.

I have had it up to my ears with bullshit . . . and I'm done with it.

I'm done with it at work . . . I'm done with it with my friends . . . but most importantly, I'm done with it when it comes to dealing with family.

If you can't play nice . . . I'll play with myself. Ok, that was funny, you have to admit it. And, it made me smile a little bit.

I'm just in a rotten mood and it's not going to get any better until I get off my butt and do something about it.

Life has taken over . . .

Someone once said that "Life is what happens when you are busy making other plans."

I think that's especially true this last week.

It has been absolutely crazy this last week at work. I don't like to go into details about work here (because this is a personal blog), but we had to let someone go which turned out to be a week long process. And, I had to pick up some extra tasks because of it. Tasks I had not done before or had not done in a long time. So, I had to read the instruction manual each time I wanted to do something. It will be ok though. I'll limp along until my co-worker (who is on maternity leave) comes back and takers back over.

Anyway, that means I haven't had much time to THINK about blogging let alone do it.

But, Scott and Wyatt are at Menard's. So, I have a few extra minutes.

It's 9:30 (I didn't get up until 7 because I was so tired) and I've got a load in the washer. The dishwasher is ready to go as soon as the washer is done. There's another load of clothes and dishes waiting.

The boys have been fed. I got Wyatt ready to go to town with Scott.

I've showered . . . that was a nice, peaceful shower with no one else in the house.

And, I need to put a roast in the slow cooker and start some homemade yeast rolls.

I'm also going to try to make a loaf of apple cinnamon bread for Trina and maybe some cinnamon rolls for work again.

I'd also like to find some time to get in the pool again.

It's finally up, filled and stabilized with the chemicals. YAY!

Ok, so, since I've complained this whole post, I'll stay on the topic.

There are some people down the road who have yard art that drives me insane. It's a gorilla. Yup, that's what I said.

Not only is it stupid, but sometimes they put hats (or a mask at Halloween) on it.

They've also recently put their house up for sale. I hope they take the gorilla with them when they go.

And the answer is . . .

"What is a garden, Alex."

Yup, that pile of dirt was a garden.

I need a car with Auto Pilot

My car has cruise control. And, I have been using it a lot the last month in order to make sure I don't speed in the construction zone on 37 and get some monster ticket.

But, it dawned on me this morning that what I really need is auto pilot.

With over an hour drive each way (by the time I drop off/pick up Wyatt, a significant part of my day gets eaten up in an unproductive way.

Seriously, think of the things I could do if I had auto pilot.

1. I could answer emails on my Blackberry. I already tend to read them while driving, but try to avoid answering them.
2. I could make up my "to do" list for the day.
3. I could get some general reading done.
4. I could update my blog, MySpace page and FaceBook.
5. I could take a nap.

But, no, I have to watch the road while driving. Bummer.

Meet Bob . . .

For those of you who don't see me on a regular basis, you may not have met Bob. Bob is my Blackberry. I named him Bob because he's my battery-operated-boyfriend.

I got him in January so that I could combine a pda and my cell phone into one item.

I never dreamed that I would love him as much as I do. I spend quality time with Bob.

The reason I bring him up today is because I was thinking how quiet he is today.

I managed to leave the house this morning around 10 with only 2 false starts.

The first was that I got in the car and realized my smokes were in the house. So, back in I went.

Then, when I got almost to the access road to get on the highway, I realized my debit card was at home.

So, I turned around and got it. I was trying to hurry because I wanted to get to Wendy's in time to have a breakfast burrito. They are soooooo yummy!

I DID manage to make it there just before they stopped serving breakfast.

Then, I went to the John Deer dealership and got Scott a new hat. I hope he likes it . . . I really love it.

Next was the library. I was dreading going because I hate driving downtown and there's never any parking.

BUT, there was a spot as soon as I pulled in. How great is that? I wanted to pick up some books by a specific author. I've read a couple of her books and really liked them. Now, I don't tend to go to the fiction section of the library, so it took me a few minutes to find what I was looking for.

As I scooped up two of her books, I had a rumbly in my tumbly as Pooh would say. A LOUD rumbly. And, it didn't mean I was hungry. I put the books back and hightailed it to the bathroom.

When I got to the bathroom, there was only one other woman in there. Now, I don't like to poop in public bathrooms, but I felt this couldn't wait.

JUST as I sat down, the bathroom suddenly filled up with women. So much for that . . . I'm too shy of a pooper.

So, I went back out, got the two books I wanted, logged onto FaceBook to find a few authors I thought I would be interested in and got some of their books too.

On the way to checkout, I realized that our library now has a self-checkout. I thought I would give it a try. It was really easy and handy.

At that point, I thought I might go over to the office and use that bathroom since I still needed to go to Kroger and Wal-Mart. But, after fighting Kirkwood traffic again, I decided I would go home to go to the bathroom (praying that I would make it) and then just go to Martinsville and go to Wal-Mart. I couldn't go to Kroger in Martinsville because they are still flooded from last month. I would just have to buy my groceries at Wal-Mart. And, I needed to go to Wal-Greens to pick up a prescription anyways.

I made it home in time and headed to Martinsville. It took me FOREVER to get all of the stuff I needed and the cart was totally full. The air-conditioning wasn't working right and I was sweating by the time I got to the checkout.

And then it happened. I didn't have the checkbook or debit card that I needed. The debit card I had was for an account I keep minimal money in and didn't have enough in it for $190 worth of stuff that I bought.

I was freaking out because I knew my checkbook had been in my car. So, they cancelled my order, took my cart to the service desk and told me to come back to the service desk if I found my checkbook.

I sprinted out to the car and found it. Then, I sprinted back in and they just entered the order number and it re-rang my order up all at once.

By the time I got all of the stuff in the car, I was downright miserable.

I went to Wal-Greens and they didn't have my allergy prescription because it's not made anymore! Oh well, I picked up a Mountain Dew and some cashews for Scott for tomorrow.

By the time I got home from Martinsville, it was 2 on the dot. So, I had spent 4 hours running errands.

I got the groceries in the house and put away and took a 10 minute break to cool down. Did I forget to mention that I took my pants off to put away the groceries? It was just too hot . . . but I'm sure it was a funny sight.

So, now the errands are all run, the groceries are put away, the sheets are in the wash and I'm about ready to start making that cheesecake.

I'm excited to see how it will turn out. While it's baking, I'll unload the dishwasher and work on cleaning my kitchen.

Whew! What a day! I just want to take a nap but I still have too many things to do.

Isn't my life exciting . . . NOT!